The Center offers many opportunities for community members to join us in a variety of events and services. We want the center to be truly a community center and invite you to join us for our activities and to be in touch with us with ideas you have or needs you perceive in our community that the Center might serve.

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No presenters' conference in 2008! In order to support the AAP conference, we will not be holding our annual presenters' conference this year. Look for it again in 2009. We will however have a day of workshops open to the community offered by our Teacher Training Program on Sunday, June 15th. Please check back for more information.

Abstracts from our last Presenter's Conference:

An Introduction to Flower Essences For Helping Professionals

 Participants were introduced to flower essences using a combination of informational and experiential approaches. The idea of flower essence therapy as a method of “evoking transpersonal qualities” was emphasized throughout the workshop. We began with an overview and history of flower essences focusing on the work of Edward Bach and the Flower Essence Society and exploring the common ground between flower essence therapy and psychosynthesis. We then worked with freshly picked Yarrow using all of our psychological functions to observe and discern the intrinsic qualities or “patterns of life force” that Yarrow manifests in nature and as a flower essence. We then discussed essence selection focusing on essences that can support us in our work as healers. Matching our issues, goals and concerns to essence qualities and patterns of imbalance as described in the various texts, repertories, and questionnaires was offered as an example of a more cognitively oriented approach. Flower Affinity Diagnosis was given as an example of a more intuitive approach in which a volunteer selected essences based on their spontaneous responses to photographs of the flowers while focusing on an issue of concern to them in their healing practice. The workshop closed with a discussion of recent developments and trends in flower essence therapy.


Andy Curtis

Remembering: The Language of the Heart

Description:  Even though we have loving intentions, why is it that our words sometimes lead to hurt and pain, whether for others or ourselves?    Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a simple, yet powerful model that guides us in re-framing how we express ourselves and how we hear others. 

HISTORY AND USES

     Nonviolent Communication (NVC), was founded and developed by Marshall Rosenberg.  He realized the crucial use of language, both in speaking and listening, as a major factor in keeping our hearts open.  Our use of words can either contribute to compassion, or to hurt, pain, and psychological and physical violence, whether for others or for ourselves. NVC, also called Compassionate Communication, has now spread throughout the world.  It is used in many settings: family and children, schools, businesses, prison, police, military, government, and international conflict.  Every person can use NVC to deal with anger, resolve conflict, improve their internal dialogue, and relate more compassionately with others.

INTENTION:  COMPASSION

     NVC is both an intention/consciousness, and, concrete skills to help bring about this consciousness or practice this consciousness.  The basic intention of NVC is to connect with ourselves and with others, and to engage in a dialogue to find a way to meet the needs of all concerned.  NVC assumes that it is our nature to enjoy giving and receiving in a compassionate way.  But our education, upbringing, cultural and personal conditioning leads us, especially under trying circumstances, to judge, criticize, defend, withdraw, attack, and label (ourselves and others).  These habitual, automatic, and violent reactions can be prevented and minimized by focusing our attention on what we are perceiving, feeling, and really wanting.  In NVC, we learn to express ourselves with honesty and clarity, while simultaneously paying attention to others with respect and empathy.  In order to fulfill our intention to be compassionate towards ourselves and towards others, we learn and practice skills to keep our attention focused on four areas: Observation, Feelings, Needs, and Requests.

ATTENTION: THE FOUR “INGREDIENTS” in NVC

1. We OBSERVE what is actually happening in a situation, without introducing any judgment or evaluation.  We simply say what people are doing that we either like or don’t like.
2. Then, we state how we FEEL* when we observe this action:  Are we hurt, scared, joyful, amused irritated, etc. 
3. Thirdly, we say what NEEDS* of ours are connected to the feelings we have identified.  Needs, as defined by NVC, is where we take responsibility for our feelings.  What someone does is a stimulus, but not the cause of our feelings.  The cause of our feelings is our met or unmet needs. Anything that anyone does is an attempt to fulfill needs.  Needs are few and needs are universal, even though there are many, many different ways or strategies that we each have of fulfilling the same basic needs. 

 Some examples of needs are the physical survival needs such as food, shelter, rest, etc; the social needs such as needs for connection, autonomy, celebration and mourning, respect, empathy, etc.; and the spiritual needs for meaning and purpose, beauty, peace, etc.*

 We are each responsible for meeting our own needs, although people naturally enjoy contributing to the well being of others, and helping them meet needs, when they can do so willingly, without guilt or fear.

 (I believe that the needs component of NVC is a huge contribution that Rosenberg makes to the old assertiveness training, I-messages, Parents Effectiveness Training, etc. of the 60’s and 70’s.)

 The difference between needs and strategies is crucial.  When we have identified a need we can choose a strategy that is most likely to satisfy that need.  Needs are never the source of conflict.  Conflict arises when we are focused on strategies.  If we are set on one strategy, and act on it, another important need of ours might not get met.  Another source of conflict is when we are set on one strategy and someone else is set on another strategy that conflicts with ours.

 Other words for needs are wants, wishes, values, desires, hopes, dreams, or longings.

.REQUESTS are what we are wanting from the other person that would enrich our lives or make life more wonderful for us.  When we have a strategy in mind for fulfilling a need, we can ask for help from others to meet the need.  By making these requests we provide opportunities for others to give to us.  And the requests of others provide us with the opportunity to give to them.  Unfortunately, our conditioning often has us making more demands than requests.  Those demands often trigger fear, guilt, obligation, guilt, or shame rather than a genuine desire to give joyfully, from the heart, which is our natural desire. 

“COOKING THE FOUR INGREDIENTS”:  THREE WAYS

NVC dialogue is like an improvised recipe, or a dance.  In this flow of communication there are three possible points of connection to life:

-I can choose to listen with empathy to my own feelings and needs.

-I can choose to listen with empathy to the other person’s feelings and needs

-Or I can choose to express my feelings and needs.

      In each point of connection, instead of criticism, judgment, blame, or demand, we are paying attention to the four ingredients, the four kinds of information: Observations, Feelings, Needs, and Requests.

DON’T JUST DO SOMETHING, STAND THERE.

     “EMPATHY is a respectful understanding of what others are experiencing.  Instead of offering empathy, we often have a strong urge to give advice or reassurance and to explain our own position or feeling.  Empathy, however calls upon us to empty our mind and listen to others with our whole being.  Empathy is giving the gift of our presence.”   Marshall Rosenberg

GRATITUDE AND APPRECIATION

     Gratitude and Appreciation are other ways to connect with intention.  Thinking about the gifts we have given and the gifts we have received provides sustenance for the heart and mind.  Expressing appreciation in NVC is a way to celebrate the way our lives have been enriched by others.  Saying “thank you” in NVC has the three components: “This is what you did (Observation); this is what I feel (Feeling); this is the need of mine that was met (Needs). 

 *Lists of Feelings and Needs, along with tons of information about NVC are on www.cnvc.org  

 Exercise:  SKILL BUILDING IN NONVIOLENT COMMUNICATION (NVC)

Purpose: TO TRANSFORM YOUR USUAL RESPONSES (AUTOMATIC HABITS)

Write down something someone has done or said that you don’t like:  ___________________

Write down what you usually say (your habitual response) to yourself: ___________________ 

Write down what you usually say (your habitual response) to the other person:_____________

Using NVC, we have three options:

Self-Empathy: Checking with yourself about how you feel and what your needs are in response to what someone has said or done that you don’t like:

I feel____________________________ because I need__________________________________.

Empathy: Your guess about their feelings and needs that led them to do what they did:

Are you feeling ____________________because you need____________________?

Self-Expression:  Your observation, feeling and need, followed by a request:

When I see/hear :_____________, I feel: _____________, because I need: ______________.   Would you be willing to:________________________?

*******************************************************************************************************************

Explore:  

What are the needs you’re trying to meet through your habitual response?

 What are the needs you’re not meeting through this response?

 Is your habitual response actually meeting your needs to your satisfaction?

 Ava Gips  Remembering: The Language of the Heart  Workshop.  Teacher and Coach of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) and Spiritual Psychology   (413) 773-9574  avagips@comcast.net

Michael Gigante abstract, 2007 Presenters’ Conference

 Psychoneuroimmunology, the study of the effects of the emotions, thoughts, attitudes, and beliefs on the body, most specifically on the immune system, and on the processses of illness and wellness, is just in the beginnings of being investigated with the eye of the scientist. And what the scientists are discovering through their inquiry, is that the secrets being unfolded have a familiar ring to them: they were revealed to them by their grandmothers throughout the ages!

    Let's explore some of these secrets as they are being exposed through the scientific method, and find our own "healing profile," those behaviors, beliefs, attitudes etc. that  we ourselves are exhibiting, that might be contributing to our own healing, our wellness, or even our illnesses.

    We will also explore how to effectively utilize the principles of PNI, and the imagaic processes in our psychotherapy practices.

  Tom Yeomans’  Abstract  of June 10, 2007 presentation  conference

 Radical Presence

This seminar addresses the challenge of

standing firm as one’s 

true self in the face of the many challenges we

encounter in today’s 

chaotic, fragmented, and fast-moving world. Radical

Presence is the 

practice of rooting deeply in one’s spiritual center

in the present 

moment--in the soul’s being, values, and qualities--

and of 

generating from there a field of authentic

soul-force within which to 

live and work. It is then more possible to confront

creatively the 

many polarizations, conflicts, and assaults, inner

and outer, that 

threaten to disconnect us, and pull us away, from

the deep sources 

and meanings of our particular life.  We need to

learn to keep our 

balance in the face of adversity and to express our

complex life-

vision in ways that embrace and synthesize the

various voices and 

forces, dark and light, within us and within the

world.

       It is also a practice of rooting in our

bodies as the taproot 

of our soul, so that we stand spiritually grounded

on earth in the 

midst of the challenges we face. And, further, it is

a practice of 

seeking out the edge of suffering in the world to

which we uniquely 

are called to respond and of bringing our full

consciousness and will 

to it through service.

          This all takes practice and patience, but

as we gain skill 

and stamina, we find we can live more fully and

faithfully the life 

we most want on earth and can better help others to

do the same.

Thomas 

Yeomans, Ph.D.

7th Annual Presenters' Conference

The Presenters' Conference was a great success, We've left the names of the presentations so that if you are interested you can watch our site for posting of workshop abstracts.